Dear Jess,
I know you’re really scared right now and I want to give you a big hug.
I’m not going tell you it’s all going be fine, because you will hear that from a lot of people and it’s hard to believe them. The next year will be the hardest year of your life, when they say you are fighting cancer you really are. It’s a fight. You will see how strong you are.
I know you want to tick off all the appointments and rush through your treatment so you can get back to your old life, but I’m sorry to say Jess that the journey is longer than you think. It will change you forever and it will never really leave you. There are times when you think you can’t take any more, and then something else will come to knock you down. You think you’re getting on top of things and then another blow. But, you get back up and keep going.
I want you to know that we will be cancer free by Christmas, and it’s not in our lymph nodes - hooray!! The best phone call we ever got.
You will be beautifully cared for by your amazing friends and family. Although it’s hard to see the pain in your husband‘s eyes, he will love you more than ever and be there every step of the way. You will still manage to be a great mum to your kids, and don’t worry, they aren’t as scared as you are right now, because they know how strong you are. You are their super Mum! They will tell you they like your hair better when it was longer, but it doesn’t hurt your feelings because you realise being alive is more important than having hair. They are the greatest reason to keep positive and give you more fire to keep you going every day. We will not be a family of five Jess, I am so sorry, but we are a very happy family of four. And we get a cute new puppy a year from now, I can’t believe we have never had one before!
Jess, I want you to know this is not your fault, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and research and unfortunately cancer affects one-in-two Australians. We are just on the wrong side of the 50%.
You will undergo 36 chemotherapy sessions, radiotherapy a mastectomy and be put into a state of chemical menopause. After it is finished, you will see yourself in a completely different way. You will envy the person you were before cancer. So naïve and with no health anxiety. You will struggle with your mental health, crying tears after tears after tears, but you will also feel the most alive you’ve ever felt.
You will lose all your hair and your right nipple will have to go as well, but we will be cancer free and happy. It might be hard to see that now, you have a really big mountain to climb, but Jess, we create something really special out of this journey. You will use all your experience from being in the beauty industry to create a range of skincare products suitable for women with sensitive skin. A range that you feel safe to use. It’s going to change peoples lives and we are going to give back to this new community we are a part of. Our life will have more meaning and purpose, and we will be more grateful to be alive than we ever have before.
You will make beautiful friends, and experience deeper connections than anything you have felt in your life. You will come out of this feeling so much more confident in who you are, what you want to achieve and who you want to surround yourself with.
Stay strong Jess, you can do this.
Love,
Future Jess xx
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